it’s no secret, kind is the new cool. KIND is quite the buzz word lately, as it should be. if you’re a parent, you know it’s one thing to tell your kids to be kind. i say it a zillion times a day. but to actually get them to choose kind when you’re not looking and when it’s hard? THAT is a whole different story.

kindness is like so many other things. the more you practice, the easier it is. that being said, at first i wasn’t too sure about this whole business of elves. i almost decided against it for our family. taking on yet another commitment during the holidays? that’s not high on my list of things to do each year.

something that IS on my list? finding new ways to keep my kiddos’ minds and hearts on the spirit of christmas.

if you’re a parent, you know this is HARD. with christmas decor and catalogues coming out before halloween, the focus is easily on the gifts. don’t get me wrong. gifts are fun! but if i don’t teach my kids the reason behind the gifts? i don’t have a lot of faith the world will do it for me.

when my oldest was around 5, my mom sent me a link to the imagination tree blog. there, i was first introduced to the the cutest, kindest LITTLE elves you ever did see! the idea behind the kindness elves was so brilliant in its sweet simplicity, i was hooked from the start.

similar to anna, author of the imagination tree, i was hesitant to implement the elf on a shelf tradition. please know, i think the pictures people post on facebook are hilarious. for so many families, this is such a fun tradition. for me, i knew i couldn’t keep up the momentum or idea behind the shelf elf. not to mention explain to my kids why he was also sitting in a box on the shelf at costco.

we try not to use the santa is watching line with our kids {which i think is the premise behind elf on a shelf}. before i tell you why, please know i don’t promise to know what i am talking about in regards to every family. i do not have any fancy parenting opinions on what does and doesn’t work for all kids and behavior. my parents TOTALLY used that line. i am just a mama trying to keep her head above water, doing what i feel is best for my family. so if you’re interested, here’s why we don’t use it:

• i can’t follow through with it. santa is watching, so if you do that, you won’t get any presents is not something i can make good on. inevitably, my kids will get presents, for jesus’ birthday, a time of joy. so if they don’t stop the behavior because santa is watching? then what? the consequence is sooo far away!
• i don’t have a good follow up for it. i think santa {or elf on the shelf} is watching works, initially, to make a child stop doing something bad or annoying or mean. which can be great in the moment. but come january, then what?

now, elves that assign and report back on acts of kindness? THAT is something i can get behind! THAT sounds like the magic of christmas!

i am so excited to share our version with you i the way it has evolved since it’s start so many years ago. i hope you can use it to really get into the spirit of christmas. i cannot tell you what a difference it’s made in the way our kids approach the days leading up to christmas. not to mention how much it has helped me help them stay focused on the good {and not the gifts}!

when i first learned of the kindness elves, they weren’t quite as popular as they’ve become. the true kindness elves were by far the cutest i could find but i couldn’t figure out how to purchase them. so our first elves came from…wait for it…amazon. they arrived in a hurry {as i imagine elves do} and there was a boy and a girl. perfect for us.

BUT, i have to say, our ones from amazon were not nearly as cute as the elves at the imagination tree! those elves are so unique and tiny and exactly how i imagine elves to be. and those sweaters! these days, they are much easier to purchase! we will be adding a new kindness elf to our elf family this year {the red and gray one above}. you can grab yours here, along with other fun accessories.

since i couldn’t purchase the actual system at the time, i thought long and hard about how i wanted to present the whole concept to our kids. my goal was to open their eyes to the true magic and goodness and love and wonder of christmas, the birth of jesus! here is the letter i wrote to our kids to start off the fun.

if you would like a copy of this letter to tailor to your own family, you can sign up and grab yours here.

in years past, our elves would arrive with a letter on december 1st. it is a MUCH anticipated day! the first year, they appeared on our small, artificial christmas tree. they had kindly assembled it for my son for his room. the elves’ main job is to inspire kindness each day. then they report kindness back to santa. they do not report unkindness. if you aren’t kind, you just don’t get any mention to santa. and who wants that? because if santa knows about your kindness, then jesus knows about it too. because they work together.

originally, our elves wrote a note with a kindness assignment every few days. then they stayed in place as they watched for the project to be completed. the elves reported back to santa on progress. when a project was finished, the elves arrived in a new place in the house with a new project {accompanied by a note to explain}.

sometimes, the elves even brought small gifts to the kids. something to help them with a project or something just because. the projects were always kid friendly and rarely require adult help. that’s the point. some examples of kindness projects the elves assigned included:

• writing a note to a friend.
• giving out 5 compliments during the day.
• cleaning someone else’s room.
• reading to a sibling or younger neighbor.
• playing a game you don’t like, but you know your sibling likes.
• including someone new in an activity at school.

now that the real and true original kindness elves have an entire kit that is easy to purchase and use for your family, we’ve changed it up a bit in our house because that idea belongs to Anna’s wonderful creations at The Imagination Tree. if you have young kids, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT as it served us well for years and we still adore our smallest elf each december 1st from her collection!!!!!

now that our kids are a bit older (ages 5, 9, and 11), we’ve shifted our december focus to gratitude. our elves still arrive to encourage kindness on december 1st (as is tradition) but the kids also receive this Advent Gratitude Countdown Calendar + Paper Chain Countdown Strips because in the spirit of this blog’s mission, gratitude is a mindset we are always trying to encourage.

if you’d like to grab our FREE Advent Gratitude Countdown Calendar + Paper Chain Countdown Strips for your family, just click HERE. and if you still have little ones – i highly recommend the kindness elves from The Imagination Tree. wishing you a very merry christmas season filled with gratitude and kindness!

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