it’s no secret, kind is the new cool. KIND is quite the buzz word lately, as it should be. if you’re a parent, you know it’s one thing to tell your kids to be kind. i say it a zillion times a day. but to actually get them to choose kind when you’re not looking and when it’s hard? THAT is a whole different story.

kindness is like so many other things. the more you practice, the easier it is. that being said, at first i wasn’t too sure about this whole business of elves. i almost decided against it for our family. taking on yet another commitment during the holidays? that’s not high on my list of things to do each year.

something that IS on my list? finding new ways to keep my kiddos’ minds and hearts on the spirit of christmas.

if you’re a parent, you know this is HARD. with christmas decor and catalogues coming out before halloween, the focus is easily on the gifts. don’t get me wrong. gifts are fun! but if i don’t teach my kids the reason behind the gifts? i don’t have a lot of faith the world will do it for me.

a few years ago, my mom sent me a link to the imagination tree blog. there, i was first introduced to the the cutest, kindest LITTLE elves you ever did see! the idea behind the kindness elves was so brilliant in its sweet simplicity, i was hooked from the start.

similar to anna, author of the imagination tree, i was hesitant to implement the elf on a shelf tradition. please know, i think the pictures people post on facebook are hilarious. for so many families, this is such a fun tradition. for me, i knew i couldn’t keep up the momentum or idea behind the shelf elf. not to mention explain to my kids why he was also sitting in a box on the shelf at costco.

we try not to use the santa is watching line with our kids {which i think is the premise behind elf on a shelf}. before i tell you why, please know i don’t promise to know what i am talking about in regards to every family. i do not have any fancy parenting opinions on what does and doesn’t work for all kids and behavior. my parents TOTALLY used that line. i am just a mama trying to keep her head above water, doing what i feel is best for my family. so if you’re interested, here’s why we don’t use it:

• i can’t follow through with it. santa is watching, so if you do that, you won’t get any presents is not something i can make good on. inevitably, my kids will get presents, for jesus’ birthday, a time of joy. so if they don’t stop the behavior because santa is watching? then what? the consequence is sooo far away!
• i don’t have a good follow up for it. i think santa {or elf on the shelf} is watching works, initially, to make a child stop doing something bad or annoying or mean. which can be great in the moment. but come january, then what?

now, elves that assign and report back on acts of kindness? THAT is something i can get behind! THAT sounds like the magic of christmas!

i am so excited to share our version with you. i hope you can use it to really get into the spirit of christmas kindness. i cannot tell you what a difference it’s made in the way our kids approach the days leading up to christmas. not to mention how much it has helped me help them stay focused on the good {and not the gifts}!

when i first learned of the kindness elves, they weren’t quite as popular as they’ve become. the true kindness elves were by far the cutest i could find but i couldn’t figure out how to purchase them.

our first elves came from…wait for it…amazon. they arrived in a hurry {as i imagine elves do} and there was a boy and a girl. perfect for us.

BUT, i have to say, i still think the real kindness elves are the cutest. they are so unique and tiny and exactly how i imagine elves to be. and those sweaters! also, now they are so easy to purchase! we will be adding a new kindness elf to our elf family this year {the red and gray one above}. you can grab yours here, along with other fun accessories.

i thought long and hard about how i wanted to present the whole concept to our kids. my goal was to open their eyes to the true magic and goodness and love and wonder of christmas, the birth of jesus! here is the letter i wrote to our kids to start off the fun.

if you would like a copy of this letter to tailor to your own family, you can sign up and grab yours here.

each year, our elves arrive with a letter on december 1st. it is a MUCH anticipated day! the first year, they appeared on our small, artificial christmas tree. they had kindly assembled it for my son for his room. the elves’ main job is to inspire kindness each day. then they report kindness back to santa. they do not report unkindness. if you aren’t kind, you just don’t get any mention to santa. and who wants that? because if santa knows about your kindness, then jesus knows about it too. because they work together.

for the past four years, our elves have written a note with a kindness assignment every few days. then they stay in place as they watch for the project to be completed. the elves report back to santa on progress. when a project is finished, they arrive in a new place in the house with a new project {accompanied by a note to explain}.

sometimes, the elves even bring small gifts to the kids. something to help them with a project or something just because. the projects are always kid friendly and rarely require adult help. that’s the point. some examples of kindness projects the elves have assigned include:

• writing a note to a friend.
• giving out 5 compliments during the day.
• cleaning someone else’s room.
• reading to a sibling or younger neighbor.
• playing a game you don’t like, but you know your sibling likes.
• including someone new in an activity at school.

last year, i changed it up a bit. on december 1st, the elves presented my kids with a kindness calendar found in the family & faith section of the LITTLE resource library. it quickly became A BETTER WAY to do this, especially as our kids are getting a bit older.

the calendar details an act of kindness for each day leading up to christmas. the elves still appear in new places some mornings. they will still bring a new note from time to time, with more project details or fun supplies {stickers for letter writing, markers for picture making, etc.}. but it takes the pressure off a bit of them bringing something everyday.

i will admit, the hardest part about the kindness elves each year was making up new and appropriate projects every few days. in the past, it kept me up later than i’d like or found me sneaking downstairs at the crack of dawn before the children wake up. not this year! now, the calendar takes the guesswork out of it for for myself and for YOU with this calendar. no more last minute scrambling for ideas!

i ALSO created a Christmas Kindness December Kindness Activities Packet to go along with the calendar. it has 2 pages for each kind deed on the calendar – one for kids who would like to write and one for kids who would rather color and draw (which means it is great for all elementary school ages!!) i was finding that the follow through on each kind deed was tricky for the kids. but with something concrete to help them complete each activity…NO MORE FORGETTING!

you can grab the activity pack for your family too RIGHT HERE to make your life a million times easier and help motivate your kids to STAY KIND and complete the calendar activities. the Christmas Kindness Activities packet includes activities for you and your family to last the WHOLE month of december. grab it HERE.

already doing elf on the shelf? inspire kindness with your elf this year! you can use the same calendar with your elf on a shelf, just focus on KINDNESS!

the elves’ arrival that first year was a total hit! watching my kids’ reactions each december, their attitudes toward each other, and the constant reminder of jesus’ kindness as the true meaning behind christmas – this has erased all my doubt in regards to taking on this new tradition.

are you excited for the christmas season? me too! grab your FREE calendar of kindness activities here, your Kindness Activities Packet here, check out the official kindness elves site with all their fun accessories, and start believing!

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