becoming a morning-ish person • notice the LITTLE things

three years ago i did something i was sure i would never ever do.

i am not a morning person. not even a little bit. i do my best work at night. i am energized at night. i am in a better mood at night. i have always been more productive at night. it’s 10:49 pm right now and i’ve just started writing. can you relate?

in my days teaching, i had friends who would wake up with time to spare before work. i couldn’t fathom it. i would wake up at the absolute last second, even calculating in my head, as my alarm went off, exactly what parts of my morning routine i could cut out so i could hit snooze one more time. wash my hair? i’ll pull it back. breakfast in the car? sure. wrinkled shirt? i work with kids. no one will notice.

in my days as a new mom, i read mom blogs that encouraged me to get up before my kids to get a jumpstart on my day. i would think, “what?!?! why would you do that?!?! sleep as much as you can. those kids are going to TIRE YOU OUT!”

then one day i tried it. i woke up one hour earlier than my kids.

my mom recommended a daily devotional email. i had signed up but hadn’t made any progress in actually reading the emails. sound familiar?

i had good intentions. each day, i promised myself i would read the devotional at lunch, or between activities, or during nap time. i would see the email in my inbox and put it off for later, when i had time. as the day progressed with all it’s pressing demands, the email continued to make it’s way down in my inbox and eventually it got deleted. at night, i was just too tired to think, and anything related to the Bible requires a lot of thinking for me. you too?

maybe you know you should be doing something more for your faith life, you’re just not sure what. maybe you’re struggling to establish a better prayer routine but you don’t know how to find the time. maybe your prayers have gotten boring and you need some new material. maybe, despite all this, you should start tomorrow.

on that first day, my alarm went off, i argued with it in my head, but i got up. i tiptoed downstairs in the darkness so the kids would not mistake my early rising for their cue to wake. i moved by the light of my phone. i made my chai and sat in front of my computer. and then i actually read the daily devotional instead of putting it off. i was honest with myself in knowing that later never worked. it was the morning or never.

it was really hard to ignore all the other emails in my box. they screamed at me for attention, begging me to start that part of my day. i willed myself to ignore them.

despite not being a morning person, i felt better that first day. my day wasn’t filled with miracles. everything did not go right. but i wasn’t more tired and i certainly didn’t look back and wish i hadn’t read my devotional. i talked to God more throughout the day, measured my decisions more deliberately, and gave Him a bigger spot in my schedule. that felt like a step in the right direction so i decided to show up again for God the next day.

i would be lying if i told you that three years later, i jump out of bed each morning for my devotional. i am not sure you can truly make yourself into a morning person if you’re not one to start. these days i am more of a morning-ish person. on the days when it’s hard to pull myself from under the covers, i ask God to wake me up. i ask Him to grace my day with energy, despite getting up early. i pray instead of hitting snooze. i look forward to my chai and the quiet of my house, a quiet i know i will not experience again during the day. i also remember this verse.

In the morning, let me hear of your mercy, for in you I trust. Show me the path I should walk for I entrust my life to you.

– Psalm 143:8.

i came across it one morning and it was one of those moments where i felt like God was truly speaking to me, the non-morning person. perhaps, like me, this verse is just the confidence you need to show up for God tomorrow.

friends who know about my transformation to a morning-ish person often ask me what i like to read during this time. if you’re not sure where to start, here are a few of my favorite daily devotionals for today’s #NTLTwednesdayword.