“maybe that feeling of being uncomfortable is God telling you, you are in the exact right place.” wait, what? no. uncomfortable means i am still looking for God’s peace, not that i’ve found it. uncomfortable means i must have missed some sign along the way, or i’m still waiting for one. uncomfortable does not feel like the exact right place. at all. i avoid uncomfortable at all costs. so when crystal evans hurst proclaimed these words in a talk last friday night, i wrote them down. how, exactly, can uncomfortable be good?
on thursday, i’d driven nine hours to attend the she speaks conference in concord, north carolina. five months prior, i had been unable to escape the she speaks emails. i tried to avoid them. delete them. make excuses. pretend like they were for someone else. they kept coming. go to a conference? by myself? in another state? surely God, this pull on my heart is imagined?
friday morning, the only comfortable thing was my outfit. i’d purchased it two days before, realizing my business casual was more casual than business.
for a good portion of my drive to north carolina, i debated what time to arrive at the conference. registration was from 7:00am-9:00am. the anxiety in my head weighed my options. get there at 7:00 and risk standing around feeling awkward, not knowing anyone, for two hours? get there at 8:45 and be potentially late? what does 7:00-9:00 mean? why does registration have to be so long?
i arrived at 8:00am. compromise. i hoped i could waste time looking busy, checking into my room, pretending not to feel uncomfortable. my room wasn’t ready. i did not feel like i was in the exact right place at all.
after i registered, i still had 57 minutes to waste. i prayed i wasn’t the only one out of 700 arriving alone and started to walk. i noticed two tables in the hallway. they looked safe. i could sit for 57 minutes. at the risk of embarrassing myself, i sat down with a couple strangers. more women came to sit and introductions were made. it was the first of many blessings God would reveal throughout the weekend.
the weekend turned out to be exactly what i did not expect. i learned how to improve my writing, listened to creative journeys and compelling testimonials, witnessed new blogging and social media approaches, and spent extra time listening to God, praying on His purpose. i got a whole hotel room to myself. but what i never expected was to walk away with friendships. to really get to know other women who somehow get this offbeat passion to write and share and be creative in the context of faith.
the uncomfortable feeling never completely left. but when i heard crystal utter the words,
“maybe that feeling of being uncomfortable is God telling you, you are in the exact right place,”
i felt God calling me to embrace it. to forget what i thought i knew about uncomfortable.
if you can list more things going wrong than right, if you’re feeling like you’d rather be anywhere than where you are, if nothing is going according to plan, and if you are completely and utterly uncomfortable, maybe, like me, that’s exactly where God wants you to be.
i cannot say enough about the friendships i developed this weekend. she speaks taught me many things, but most of all it taught me that sometimes God does His best work in the most uncomfortable situations.
check out more fun from the she speaks conference by clicking on any of the blogs below. happy noticing!